Beauty.

I just watched Ever After and cried like a baby! Now I am afraid this blog might be too sentimental as an outcome of my post-fairy tale mood. I don't usually cry in movies, just once in a blue moon & when I do it actually feels very liberating. Today I attended Walla Walla's week of prayer and Alex Bryan did a moving talk about beauty. You see, this whole week he has been talking about "hints" of God's existence and today's was the hint of our appreciation of beauty. There was an incredible performance of the song "The Prayer", it was breath taking. I have never had the privilege of going to an opera or a concert with that type of music but now I know why people cry at concerts like those. I got chills & tears as I heard them sing. It was magnificent and definitely beautiful. I really wanted to blog about it because it was my first time ever feeling so moved by a performance and I want to remember it forever--which is easier to do when you write about it. Anyways, that wasn't the only part that was awe-inspiring, there was also the last 3 minutes of the sermon where he showed a video of the Apollo crew that first saw the "earth rise". WOW! incredible. All in all today has been such a romantic day and by romantic I don't mean in the way that most would think. I didn't find a boyfriend or even a hint of one, no one bought me roses or swept me off the floor with some doting compliment, most of the day I was alone actually. I was romanced by God. That sounds cheesy, but it is none the less true. He is the best romancer of them all. He knows my heart like no one else does, not even myself. He loves me and when I say love, I mean it in the truest & noblest sense. A love that no one else has been able to out do in my life. I don't know why I have given my heart away so carelessly in the past when someone so incredible has been waiting all along for me to give it to Him first. I guess that is what makes Him so deserving. He has waited patiently all my life for me to give it to Him. You see, God doesn't steal hearts...He is too much of a gentleman for that. He silently waits by as you blindly give it away to the people that will hurt it most because He would never force anything upon you. He is jealous for me. He adores me. He formed me as delicately as an artist paints a canvass. And while I ignore His pleas He waits patiently till I finally reflect & notice that He has been romancing me all the day long. He is perfect. How could I have been so naive to think that this love could have been found anywhere else? He doesn't care where I have been or what I can do for Him. All He wants is my happiness. He wants me to be joyful & to see all that He has done for me.

There is an awesome quote that I once heard, "Honestly, if you aren't willing to sound stupid then you don't deserve to be in love"--so at the risk of sounding very stupid...here is my love letter. Again, maybe this shouldn't be in public form but I think He deserves at the least this...


My Dearest God,


You have been here from the very beginning. You loved me before I was even a thought. All my life You have carefully guided my steps and patiently watched as I occasionally choose the wrong path. You then held me close as I ached over other loves that stole me away from You. You are the most devote friend. There is no one else like You. All that is good in me I owe to You. Without You, I am nothing--just dust. My every breath should be a praise to You and all that You are. My every move is a dance for all that You have done & continue to do in me. I am so sorry for all the times that I have let you down and will again in the future. I have longed for someone to sit next to me as I watched sunsets or gazed at stars not even considering the One who painted these beautiful views for me to admire in the first place. How could I forget You so easily when You are so much a part of everything?  I am in awe at all that You are capable of, God! Those majestic views that I witnessed as I drove across the country are more magnificent than anything anyone could ever hope to create. The Grand Tetons, the wheat fields, the endless plains, & the trees that seem to be reaching for the heavens--they are all testaments of Your endless love. Please guard my heart, sweet lover of my soul. Guard it even from me. I give all that I am to You. Every bit of me! You deserve so much more than just that. Please help me to love You as much as You love me. Open my eyes to all that You are in my life & all that You do for me every day. Let me see Your beauty. Help me to show others Your beauty.


With all the Love You have given me to give, 
Eileen