Getting as Close to Heaven as Possible.

I finally went to the WINDMILLS! I had been wanting to go so badly ever since I arrived in Walla Walla. Hannah & I ventured off to the land of the windmills super stoked! My little Saturn had the hardest time on the dirt road that led up to them but it made it eventually.

 The views along the way were so amazing!

We had to stop a couple of times to take in the views. 

We did arrive to the actual windmills eventually and they were everything I had hoped they'd be. Okay, maybe to other people they wouldn't be that thrilling but I found them super enchanting and they were HUGE! 

we also found some tumble weeds & couldn't resist rolling them around. 

It was so much fun and as expected, super windy.

When we got back in the car our hair was a bit wind blown...

I admit that this is not our best look.

I can't wait to go again. It truly was so peaceful up there!

My Restless Soul.

Lately my soul has been extra sensitive to the world around me--the pain, the hurt, the desperation. I know that there are so many people out there who are alone and empty. I want to do more! I just don't know what I can do. I feel overwhelmed by all that I should be doing but instead of going out and making a difference, I just drown in the confusion of what my first step should be. I mean, technically I am taking a year off to be "student missionary" but I still feel like I could be doing SO MUCH MORE. My heart has always been for the children of the world--always. Even when I was a child-I just have a place for them. There are so many children who are alone and unloved that I want to reach out and love! I want to travel to all parts of the world and do all that I can. God is coming soon and I am afraid I am not doing my part. I know we can't gain salvation by works but I can't help but feel the need to do more in order to fulfill my purpose on this Earth. I am SO blessed! I feel guilty about having so much when so many have nothing. My heart aches for all those who are cold, on the streets, hungry. I feel a stirring in my body to move and love but I still am motionless. God, please give me the avenues to Your people! Help me to make a difference. I don't want this restlessness to leave me, I don't want to become comfortable. Don't let me become comfortable. Where can I serve!? Give me the energy and the courage to go where You lead me!

Something Greater.

a lost identity. Through out my life I have encountered people that have taken the time to go "find themselves". I have always scoffed at the idea of "finding oneself" but it is starting to become a little more clear to me why people feel this need. In a world so populated with people and with so much love I often can feel very alone. No place I go ever feels exactly right even if I know it is where God intends me to be. There is always a little something missing. We struggle to belong through our clothing, music, character, etc. We figure if we just had that "one more thing" we'd finally belong. Sometimes I become SO overwhelmed with everything that I just want to run off to an island or to Africa or somewhere away from everything I know. I know that a lot of people get this feeling from time to time. I was wondering just yesterday though what where to happen if I actually did get away. Would my burdens follow me? I honestly don't think it'd solve the real issue. I need to live a life of peace and good will no matter where I am in the world. That being said though, I do not want to ever feel completely comfortable where I am. I don't think I will...but I am seeing now that I am better off not feeling this way. This is why--we shouldn't feel at home in this world. We weren't meant to live in this place. Something will always be missing. We were meant to dwell with God and have a unearthly intimacy with Him. Nothing should fill that void or longing. I don't ever want to be content with this life. I want to constantly be struggling against it--at peace but not to the point where I forget that I am not suppose to stay here. No matter where I go things will always be complicated, uneasy, and beautiful. Because in that struggle I see that I am destined for something greater then what this world can offer. Just give me Jesus.

A Window to My Soul.

I am an open book! I wear my heart on my sleeve & unfortunately this can often be a fault rather then a strength. I try to be more mysterious and keep my thoughts to myself but then I let my guard down for two seconds and my whole life is spilled out like a huge grape juice stain on a white shirt. I just can't help it! My face is full of expressions. This blog is another avenue of me and a sure window to my soul. I don't know if anyone reads it or not but regardless here it is. I just ask that if you are in fact reading my blog, don't mind the imperfections and errors. The ramblings of a creation still in the making by a patient and merciful Creator. As you peer into my soul don't mind the mess.

I miss my family. There is a certain level of intimacy that can only be reached by your family or another means which I am not in possession of at this moment. I yearn for a hug or closeness that only can be acquired through them. I know I will be seeing them soon & I can't wait. The smell of my mom's cooking and the taste of it! I hadn't realized how different my holiday food was from the norm until I was in college. I love it! Plantains, yucca, rice, beans, & so much more. It'll be so strange not being with my family for Thanksgiving this year. I miss my brother's goofy sense of humor and his constant "high-fives" that drive me insane. I miss my dad's patience and devotion to all of us. Watching him take such good care of the garden, animals, & us. He is so loving! Everything grows and flourishes under his leadership and care. I miss my adorable "little star", Marcelino. The sweetest and most devoted cat in the whole world. I can't wait to hug him! I miss the Asheville mountain views that are splashed with reds, yellows, & oranges during this time of year. I miss the cozy little churches my dad pastors that are so full of love & quaintness.

I love how versatile our God is! Even in the way He shows His love and His character. Through the different seasons, through music, through nature, through mankind, and I am sure there are more. We try so hard to put Him in a box and label Him but He is so much bigger then our minds could ever hope to dream or comprehend. It'll take an eternity to truly know God and one day I hope to do that exact thing. Even in this sin filled world there is SO much beauty! Can you imagine how beautiful a perfect sinless world must be? I can't. On this earth there are already so many incredible things. I crave the natural beauty! The places I want to travel are endless. I just can't get enough of the splendor. I just want to soak it all in. I hope one day I will have the opportunity to travel to all these places I see in pictures. My eyes just can't get enough of pretty things--flowers, trees, mountains, & more! So many different types of each one. It makes me crazy with desire to experience it all. From the simplest to the most complex--they all hold their own enchantment. I love it.

I was trying to fall asleep and all I could think about were all these things. I figured it'd help if I wrote it all out and got it out of my head. We serve such an incredible God. I wish I could wrap myself in His arms and just marvel at His majesty. I have to wait awhile to do that though. He has blessed me so much & I just can't imagine my life without having known Him. It'd be so empty. I have to struggle constantly against putting Him into a box and not allowing Him to expand my ideals and life. He is so good to me.

October.

I LOVE FALL! I know a lot of people do but I am here to claim that I love it the most. I get this swelled up feeling in my chest--do you know what I mean? I become all giddy & emotional! Everything is just so much fun. All the activities-camping, hayrides, corn mazes, apple cider/hot chocolate, pumpkins/pumpkin carving (which I have yet to do), fall festivals, barn parties, square dancing, & the list can just keep on going. Isn't it fantastic? I miss the Asheville colors & mountains though. I don't know if Walla Walla will get as colorful as Asheville. I sure hope so because there is nothing better than the fall colors. Autumn even has a smell and a feel to it. The chill in the air, the sweaters. oh my lands! I can't contain myself. I just want to wrap it all up and put it in a jar for whenever I am "homesick" for fall.

Falling For You, My Dear Walla Walla.

I am truly falling for WA! I love it here. The people, the places, the opportunities! I know there are days when I really miss my family & loved ones back home but over all I know that God brought me here, my heart is at peace.

I don't know where my next adventure will be, but I know that my life is safely tucked away in God's heart and no matter where I end up, I'll be okay. I am crossing my fingers & silently hoping that my journey here will not end in 9 months though. Walla Walla is such a sleepy little town but at the same time holds so much charm of it's own. Of course just like any other place--it is the people that make is so wonderful. Everyone has been so loving & open to me. The staff I work with in the church are awesome. I feel so comfortable with each of them and they all work so hard. Some of them I feel as if I have known them my whole life! I can't believe I have only been here a few months and at the same time I can't believe how much times has flown by. Isn't that funny how you can feel two complete opposite ways at once?!

The experiences I have had in these past few months have been FANTASTIC! Marine Biology trip, Senior Survival, rock climbing, the fair, antique shops, etc. It only makes me more hungry for adventures! My list of places to go just keeps getting longer, longer, & longer. My life just feels so full of possibilities! I love it.

I am just so full of joy. I am not saying that I haven't had my obstacles and that there aren't days when I feel alone or too far from home but I am just SO ENTIRELY BLESSED!

so this is my ode to Walla Walla, WA & all of the beauty it has brought into my life.

Beauty.

I just watched Ever After and cried like a baby! Now I am afraid this blog might be too sentimental as an outcome of my post-fairy tale mood. I don't usually cry in movies, just once in a blue moon & when I do it actually feels very liberating. Today I attended Walla Walla's week of prayer and Alex Bryan did a moving talk about beauty. You see, this whole week he has been talking about "hints" of God's existence and today's was the hint of our appreciation of beauty. There was an incredible performance of the song "The Prayer", it was breath taking. I have never had the privilege of going to an opera or a concert with that type of music but now I know why people cry at concerts like those. I got chills & tears as I heard them sing. It was magnificent and definitely beautiful. I really wanted to blog about it because it was my first time ever feeling so moved by a performance and I want to remember it forever--which is easier to do when you write about it. Anyways, that wasn't the only part that was awe-inspiring, there was also the last 3 minutes of the sermon where he showed a video of the Apollo crew that first saw the "earth rise". WOW! incredible. All in all today has been such a romantic day and by romantic I don't mean in the way that most would think. I didn't find a boyfriend or even a hint of one, no one bought me roses or swept me off the floor with some doting compliment, most of the day I was alone actually. I was romanced by God. That sounds cheesy, but it is none the less true. He is the best romancer of them all. He knows my heart like no one else does, not even myself. He loves me and when I say love, I mean it in the truest & noblest sense. A love that no one else has been able to out do in my life. I don't know why I have given my heart away so carelessly in the past when someone so incredible has been waiting all along for me to give it to Him first. I guess that is what makes Him so deserving. He has waited patiently all my life for me to give it to Him. You see, God doesn't steal hearts...He is too much of a gentleman for that. He silently waits by as you blindly give it away to the people that will hurt it most because He would never force anything upon you. He is jealous for me. He adores me. He formed me as delicately as an artist paints a canvass. And while I ignore His pleas He waits patiently till I finally reflect & notice that He has been romancing me all the day long. He is perfect. How could I have been so naive to think that this love could have been found anywhere else? He doesn't care where I have been or what I can do for Him. All He wants is my happiness. He wants me to be joyful & to see all that He has done for me.

There is an awesome quote that I once heard, "Honestly, if you aren't willing to sound stupid then you don't deserve to be in love"--so at the risk of sounding very stupid...here is my love letter. Again, maybe this shouldn't be in public form but I think He deserves at the least this...


My Dearest God,


You have been here from the very beginning. You loved me before I was even a thought. All my life You have carefully guided my steps and patiently watched as I occasionally choose the wrong path. You then held me close as I ached over other loves that stole me away from You. You are the most devote friend. There is no one else like You. All that is good in me I owe to You. Without You, I am nothing--just dust. My every breath should be a praise to You and all that You are. My every move is a dance for all that You have done & continue to do in me. I am so sorry for all the times that I have let you down and will again in the future. I have longed for someone to sit next to me as I watched sunsets or gazed at stars not even considering the One who painted these beautiful views for me to admire in the first place. How could I forget You so easily when You are so much a part of everything?  I am in awe at all that You are capable of, God! Those majestic views that I witnessed as I drove across the country are more magnificent than anything anyone could ever hope to create. The Grand Tetons, the wheat fields, the endless plains, & the trees that seem to be reaching for the heavens--they are all testaments of Your endless love. Please guard my heart, sweet lover of my soul. Guard it even from me. I give all that I am to You. Every bit of me! You deserve so much more than just that. Please help me to love You as much as You love me. Open my eyes to all that You are in my life & all that You do for me every day. Let me see Your beauty. Help me to show others Your beauty.


With all the Love You have given me to give, 
Eileen